


The Black-Winged Monster

by RavenCrowandCo



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Graphic Imagery, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Original Character(s), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 08:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenCrowandCo/pseuds/RavenCrowandCo
Summary: Dirk and Todd are on the run from the notorious Blackwing organization. Lost and hungry, they hope to find shelter in an abandoned house, where they find a girl who claims she's being tormented by a monster...





	The Black-Winged Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BackattheBein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackattheBein/gifts).



> This fic is actually a retelling of a real dream I had. I'm a huge Dirk Gently fan and I often have dreams about watching newly created episodes. This one was so vivid and cool I just had to share it!

“Oh look, surprise! More corn. We’ve been walking for quite some time, Todd, and the most interesting thing I’ve seen the past eighty kilometres is, wow, some corn, which I apparently can’t eat even though I’m absolutely starving-”  
“Look, Dirk, I get it. We’re out in the middle of nowhere. But we’re in hiding. We just can’t let Blackwing find you again.   
The name sent a shudder down Dirk’s spine. “Fine. Well, I suppose if we are in hiding, we should settle down and find an actual place to hide. Like that house over there!”  
“What house? I haven’t seen any houses for miles-” Todd should have known better. Dirk was a particularly good finder. Finding important things in unimportant places was his specialty.   
“What a lovely home!” Dirk said, despite literally everything. The house had obviously been abandoned for many years; the greyish-green siding was peeling off and most of the windows were broken. Todd hadn’t seen it beforehand because the grass and bushes surrounding it were completely overgrown.   
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Dirk. But shit I’m tired. Maybe…”  
That’s when they heard a piercing scream that burst out of the abandoned house.

Todd tightened his grip on his brass knuckles as he and Dirk punched their way into the house. “Who’s there!? What’s going on? We’re badasses, we’re here to help.”  
Not a sound.  
Then, after a few moments, a very young girl shyly poked her head out from another room.   
“Oh, hiiiiii,” Dirk said to the little girl. “What’s your name? Would you be a dear and come out into the foyer with us?”  
The little girl said nothing, but slowly moved closer to Dirk and Todd. She fiddled with her long white braids and stared at them.   
“What’s your name, dear?” Dirk repeated.  
After thinking on it for a while, she let out a tiny “Elsie.”  
Well you’re so sweet! Why would a happy little girl like you let out such a blood-curdling scream?”  
“There’s monster.”  
“Oh…?”  
“There’s monster in the house. I can’t sleep.”  
Todd leaned in toward Dirk. He whispered, “What if it’s a Blackwing-”  
Elsie cut over their conversation. “There’s a black winged monster.”  
“Oh shit.”

“To think my instincts led me right to another Blackwing subject in the middle of nowhere! I wonder which project it is?” Dirk’s brow furrowed as he thought about some of the powerful subjects that could hurt and torture. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to look around and find them.” He cupped his hands over his mouth and called out, “Hello! Mr. Monster! Where are you?”  
“You idiot,” Todd said, pushing Dirk. “We have to be careful. There are some very violent Blackwing subjects out there. We need to be quiet and search the house.” He got down to Elsie’s level and told her, “Listen, we are going to keep you safe. We’ll find the Blackwing monster and, and, we’ll knock ‘em out.”  
Elsie let out a little nervous moan, but then she nodded her head. She walked over to Dirk and grabbed his hand with her tiny one. She looked up at Todd and said, “I go with Sunshine. I don’t like you.” Dirk smiled and wiggled his shoulders happily.  
Todd sighed. “Fine. You go with Sunshine and search this floor. I will search the basement. Be careful, now.”  
“Why are kids like that?” Todd grumbled as he headed downstairs. He wasn’t a huge fan of children- even if they needed his help, they were never very nice to him. 

The basement of the house was particularly disgusting. Cobwebs covered the walls and gross dirty things that Todd didn’t even recognize littered the cold ground. Everything was grey and uncomfortably damp. The basement itself split off into a maze of rooms. For some time, Todd searched through various rooms, feeling like a drunk man who can’t find his way back home.   
He came to an odd door and grabbed the doorknob. Have I seen this door before? Did I already go in this room? He thought to himself. Well, better check anyway…   
Opening the door with a loud creak, Todd felt something bump against his foot. He looked down.  
It was a head.  
With white hair like Elsie’s.  
The room was filled with bodies.  
All with white hair like Elsie’s.

“Holy shit!? Oh god no no no no no… ”   
In a blind panic, Todd ran upstairs, stumbling and shaking.   
“Dirk? Dirk!? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod WHERE ARE YOU, DIRK!?”   
Todd crashed into a doorway as he ran. Hot-white with pain, he was relieved to see his friend. “I need to tell you something. I… I…” The relief instantly drained away and was replaced by terror. “...Dirk?”  
Standing next to Dirk, her hands balled into tight fists, was Elsie.   
Todd asked, “What did you do to Dirk?”  
The more Todd looked at Dirk, the more violently his stomach churned. Dirk’s entire posture was slumped forward, lifeless, like a corpse being propped up by an invisible bar. His skin glittered with sweat and had an unnerving translucency. Dirk’s hair turned white at the roots. But the worst part was his eyes. They were dark grey, completely clouded over: glass marbles illuminated from the inside.   
As Elsie spoke to Todd, Dirk echoed her in a harsh, shaky voice that wasn’t quite his.   
“I don’t I like don’t you like you. ”   
Todd was trembling. “Whatever you’re doing to Dirk, just… stop. Get away from him.” He immediately felt stupid saying this, but he was at a complete loss for words.   
“I I don’t wanna don’t wanna go go back BACK!”  
“O-okay, Elsie, it’s okay. Just… please, let go of Dirk. We’re not taking you back to Blackwing, Project Whatever-”  
“I am not I am not Project Project Hypnos I Hypnos am I am Elsie Elsie! Holistic holistic director director.”   
“That’s great, Elsie… please let go of Dirk. Shit shit shit PLEASE. He’s a Blackwing subject too. He’s not gonna hurt you.”  
“You you work for work for Blackwing!?!? I’m I’m gonna hurt gonna hurt you you. No no no no no no no going back going back.”  
“Shit NO! He doesn’t work for Blackwing, he’s a subject. Project Icarus.”  
But Elsie didn’t seem to listen. She pointed at Todd and Dirk responded by stumbling forward lifelessly.   
“I’m I’m gonna hurt gonna you hurt you Todd Todd.”  
Todd didn’t have any time to think. Dirk began to throw punches at his face, with a physical strength that Todd had never seen before. Blow after blow, Dirk tore into him.   
Between hits, Todd tried to reason with him. “PLEASE. STOP. DIRK. DIRK,” he said through gritted, bloodied teeth. He had Todd pinned to the floor and was beating him relentlessly. All the while, Elsie stood over them, watching.   
Todd had lost all hope. “Dirk, I- don’t kill me. I love you.”  
This stopped Dirk in his tracks, to Todd’s surprise. Seizing the opportunity, he slipped from Dirk’s grasp and ran over to Elsie. He bent down and put her in a chokehold.   
“Let go of Dirk or I swear to god… ” As Todd spoke, he spat blood into Elsie’s snowy white hair. 

“No.”

“Let go.” 

“NO!”

“LET GO!”

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Elsie said, struggling. As she spoke, Dirk stood up attentively and began to walk out of the house. Todd was very apprehensive and hurt everywhere.   
Elsie looked up at him and began to cry. “Leave,” she said quietly.  
“Fine. Sure. We’re gonna leave now. Goodbye,” Todd said, letting go of her and moving slowly, cautiously, toward the door. 

Todd found Dirk wobbling outside, holding his head and looking a little dazed. “Todd? Where have you been? I’ve been absolutely worried sick about you for the past”- he looked at his watch- “five seconds!” Dirk said as Todd closed the front door of the house.   
Todd didn’t respond right away. His whole body throbbed with pain and he breathed in sharp, jagged gulps. “Let’s… find a… a different place to stay.”   
“Oh goodness me, what happened to you, Todd? What… happened to me?”   
“I don’t really know,” which was mostly the truth.   
“I’m sorry dear,” Dirk said, leaning in to kiss his bruised cheek. “I don’t quite like the look of this house anymore. Well, I suppose we should continue on and find a hiding place that’s a little less… bizarre.”


End file.
